Category > Life in General

An Open Letter to Teens

Dear Teens: You don’t know shit. Oh, I know, I know.  You think you know everything. I am (not so) sorry to be the one to tell you that, in fact, as I said, you don’t know shit. Also, no one in this world owes you anything.  Did you get that? NOT. ONE. THING. If you want […]

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Driven to Insanity

My son is 16 years old. For those of you who do not have children, this number may mean nothing to you.  It may not strike fear into your heart.  It may not ignite inside your soul the devastating fear, the agonizing terror that lives in the heart of every parent. My son is nearly […]

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(not so) Happy

I have unlocked the secret to happiness. Now hold on a minute.  Don’t just roll your eyes and walk off. Come back here! I’m serious.  I know the secret to happiness. Are you ready to know the secret? Okay, wherever you are, go to a mirror. Close your eyes.  Stand in front of the mirror. […]

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Tear Jerkers (Sorry, Mr. Sparks)

I just watched a video which listed the biggest tear-jerker movies of all time. I think movies based on Nicholas Sparks books made the list at least three times.  Maybe more.  I sort of lost interest about half way through. We just can’t get enough of the sappy, drippy, romantic tragedies, can we? What is it? Maybe […]

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The (not so) Skinny

I’m fat. I’ve always heard that the first step in dealing with a problem is admitting you have one, so there you go.  I said it.  I’m fat.  Obese.  Portly.  Robust.  Chubby.  Rotund.  Chunky. Round. Not thin. You get the picture. I’ve never been what one would call a “skinny” person.  Certainly I’ve never fit […]

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Like A Boss

Here, as a half hearted attempt at a comeback, is the very first mildly inappropriate joke I learned as a child.  I found it on a sheet of paper someone had given my grandfather years and years ago.  And so I offer you…….   On the day God created humans, all of the parts of […]

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Time (not just a song by Pink Floyd)

I remember reading in a book once, though it escapes me just which one, that time is a very plastic thing, almost subjective, and to be honest, I never gave it much thought. But boy is it. I remember when I was a kid, especially a teenager, I thought time would never pass.  I mean, […]

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Shameless Promotion

I’m about to do some of it! In an effort to increase the cash flow up in here (and to keep my hands and mind busy) I’ve been piddling around making some jewelry.  Rather than jump in whole hog and get my own website, I decided to join Etsy!  So, in a shameless act of […]

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The End of the Ocean

I love the beach. Simple enough statement, that.  I mean, lots of people love the beach, right?  Heaven knows thousands of people flock there each year for vacation.  We used to go from time to time.  The time between time to time got a little longer, then a little longer, and the next thing we […]

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If I Ruled The World

Things would be a lot different, that’s for sure.  For starters, anyone who spoke out loud before 9am would be awakened each morning by having hot coffee poured in their ear.  Here are some other things I’d like to see go into effect immediately: All carpet would be removed from earth and rocketed into outer […]

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