Stick People Turn Me On

Want to do a (not so) scientific experiment? Walk up to any teenage girl, and ask her if she thinks she fat.  I just about guarantee that approximately 95% of them will answer “yes.”  And by teenage, I don’t necessarily mean 16 and 17 year-olds.  Now it seems more like 11 and 12 year-old girls are starting this crap.  I wonder why that is?  Consider the following:

This is a Victoria’s Secret model from a few years ago, named Candice Swanepoel.  Now, in reality, this is not a realistic body image for us regular girls to have.  Pay close attention to what I’m getting ready to say…….real people don’t look like this!

Now, just forget all of that, and have a look at this:

This is the same girl.  I swear.  This is a recent picture from this spring.

Okay, I’m going to be mean for a few minutes, so if that bothers you, skip ahead.  This girl looks like crap.  It’s pathetic.  She literally looks like a picture from the case files of an eating disorder clinic, but here’s the best part–this isn’t from a case file, it’s from the frikin’ Victoria’s Secret show this year!  I know what Victoria’s Secret is—she’s anorexic! Did I say that was the best part? I was wrong.  The best part is that there is actually discussion as to whether or not this girl is too thin!  Holy hell, are you kidding me?  No, she’s not thin, she’s about ten pounds away from dead, folks!  And yet she is still a model and worse, a role model!  Your little girl is going to look at this and think that normal people actually look like this!  Shit!

Shame, shame, shame on our culture as a whole for this.  Am I bitter?  You bet.  I’ve fought body issues all of my life, and it’s no picnic.  Now I’m a little more educated.  Can you say “photoshop?”  How about “airbrushing?”  You’re not trying to live up to a person, you’re trying to live up to a computer generated image of a person who has never existed.  Everyone has wrinkles, moles, zits sometimes, cellulite sometimes, you name it.  They even use the computer to make the whites of these girl’s eyes look whiter!

Sadly, the picture above isn’t photoshopped.  That poor girl actually looks like that.  And a million other poor girls think it’s the way to look.

Last but not least, a great big “thank you” to all of you guys out there who, for whatever reason, think this is sexy.  Way to go, fellas!  Why, I guess you’d follow your pecker right off a cliff, wouldn’t you?  Sort of like those little lemmings, only dumber.  And it doesn’t matter what that guy looks like, he thinks he can get one of these girls.  He may have a huge bald spot, more body hair than an ape, and a belly that gets into the room five minutes before the rest of him, but he thinks he’s a stud, just the absolute shit, and the hot girls should just be lining up to have a shot at him.

I imagine pretty soon young boys will soon be sneaking off to their room…..locking the door…………..closing the curtains…………………….slipping their hand under their mattress………………….and pulling out a much used magazine………………………….opening to the center……………………….and holding up a picture that looks like this:

Is it getting hot in here, or is just me?  Gotta go–there’s a Three Musketeers in there with my name on it.

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