Welcome to the Short Bus: No Jerks Allowed

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about people, and how they think, and what they think about others.

I’ve also been thinking about the short bus.

Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been reminded that being told you “ride the short bus” is an insult.  It means you are stupid or crazy.  But my daughter rides the short bus, and my sister always rode the short bus, and neither one of them is stupid or crazy.

So I started thinking, as I was standing outside and waiting on the aforementioned short bus with my daughter, that riding that diminutive mode of transportation is awesome.  Way more awesome than, say, riding a regular bus.  As proof, I have compiled a highly scientific and accurate list of reasons why the short bus is the coolest bus in the fleet.

  • The short bus has adult supervision.  My elementary age daughter is being watched over by qualified adults, not high school kids with piercings and dirty mouths.
  • My daughter wears an actual seat belt.  If the regular bus has an accident, your kid is going to be bouncing around like a pea in a can.  Sorry!
  • In general, the short bus drivers are kinder, more patient, and far more accommodating than regular bus drivers.  Sorry again!
  • Sure, the kids on the short bus have problems, but I’ve met the regular ed kids on the regular bus.  I think you’d better be more worried than me!
  • Yeah, some of them might lick the windows.  At least they aren’t making out with each other and “experimenting!”
  • Lots of them still color with crayons.  But they aren’t smoking cigarettes. Or drinking.  Good luck!
  • Most of the kids are dressed pretty conservatively, but I’d take that over the “gangsta” look, male skinny jeans, or the little girls who look like they got their clothing out of the discount bin at Hal’s House of Hookers.
  • The kids on the short bus have lots of issues, but my daughter will never tell me she hates me, hit me, roll her eyes at me, or call me a bitch.
  • Also, I don’t ever have to worry about my daughter coming home with a guy who looks like he just escaped from work release, telling me they are in LOVE and they are going to have a BABY!
  • Likewise, I don’t have to worry about her becoming the most “popular” girl in school, if you get my meaning.
  • I ALSO don’t have to worry about naked pictures of my daughter popping up on the Internet because of “sexting.”
  • My daughter and her peers on the short bus don’t judge people.  They don’t make fun of others because they are different, or use them as the butt of a joke.  They aren’t racists, bigots, or just general assholes.  They aren’t bullies.  In short (get it?), they aren’t jerks.

See, riding the short bus isn’t so bad.  It doesn’t make you stupid, or crazy.  You won’t catch a disease from riding it.  In fact, I’d take the short bus any day.  I’d climb on, and sit in the back, and as we passed the regular bus, I’d hold up a sign:

 

SEE YOU LATER, LOSERS!

middle-finger-retro

 

 

 

 

[subscribe2]

Trackback URL

, ,

32 Comments on "Welcome to the Short Bus: No Jerks Allowed"

  1. Matt Bostic
    15/01/2013 at 2:13 pm Permalink

    I love you!

  2. Janice
    15/01/2013 at 2:28 pm Permalink

    I know.

    I love you, too.

  3. Stacie
    15/01/2013 at 5:09 pm Permalink

    My son rides the short bus to his summer camp. Short buses rule!

  4. Janice
    15/01/2013 at 5:20 pm Permalink

    Right on!

  5. Dana
    15/01/2013 at 6:02 pm Permalink

    Well said! The memories I have of the regular-sized bus I rode still haunt me to this day. Maybe one day I will write about it!

  6. Janice
    15/01/2013 at 6:11 pm Permalink

    I have those memories too. I’m not sure I WANT to write about them.

  7. Mayor Gia
    15/01/2013 at 6:40 pm Permalink

    Nothing wrong with the short bus! (Kids are jerks about it, though. I remember that.)

  8. Janice
    15/01/2013 at 8:06 pm Permalink

    Not just kids. Lots of adults, too.

  9. My Half Assed Life
    15/01/2013 at 7:20 pm Permalink

    I rode the regular bus as a grade schooler. I was also the last one to get off, which meant I could be picked on for the entire 30 minute ride.

    Adult supervision would have been awesome.

  10. Janice
    15/01/2013 at 8:07 pm Permalink

    Yep. I learned more about sex from the high school kids on my bus than from the Fifty Shades trilogy.

  11. Yocheved
    15/01/2013 at 7:38 pm Permalink

    My daughter rides the short bus too, and I couldn’t be happier. Still, it doesn’t stop her from rolling her eyes at me!

  12. Janice
    15/01/2013 at 8:04 pm Permalink

    That’s okay. Evelyn shakes her finger at me. (Not the middle one.)

  13. Jules
    16/01/2013 at 12:12 am Permalink

    I love the shorter buses, safer less havoc and easier to pass

  14. Janice
    16/01/2013 at 7:03 am Permalink

    Good point.

  15. Melissa
    16/01/2013 at 12:29 am Permalink

    Glad you posted this. I hate it when I hear people use “short bus” as a euphemism for “stupid” or “crazy.” When they do, they’re just revealing how ignorant they are.

  16. Janice
    16/01/2013 at 7:08 am Permalink

    I started to get all pissy about it, but really, what’s the point? This just made me feel better.

    Remember, never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear, or an idiot from any direction! Ha!

  17. Bridgitte Raven
    16/01/2013 at 3:10 am Permalink

    Brings back ALOT of memories – you captured the sentiment perfectly. I see that some things never change!

  18. Louise Ducote
    16/01/2013 at 5:47 am Permalink

    I’ve never heard of the short bus (Maybe we don’t have those in Texas?) but from your description I think I’d rather be on the short bus myself, window-licking and all!

  19. Janice
    16/01/2013 at 7:05 am Permalink

    You’re bound to have them. How do the kids in wheelchairs get to school?

    Also, as an aside, we have short buses that aren’t for the special needs kids. They don’t have lifts or anything. They are for some of the routes that go out the back roads and don’t pick up any kids. More fuel efficient and easier to handle, I guess.

  20. TriGirl
    16/01/2013 at 10:47 am Permalink

    You’re so right, the big bus is a moving, encapsulated Lord of the Flies situation.

  21. Janice
    16/01/2013 at 11:59 am Permalink

    Hahahahaha!!!!!! Wonderful.

  22. Katie
    16/01/2013 at 1:32 pm Permalink

    All we can do is try to teach our kids to be understanding, sweet and empathetic… and give the finger to everyone else 😉

  23. Janice
    16/01/2013 at 1:44 pm Permalink

    Hey, it works for me.

  24. Kerry Ann @Vinobaby's Voice
    16/01/2013 at 2:10 pm Permalink

    In our neighborhood, the short bus stops right in front of each kid’s house. I am totally jealous.

  25. Janice
    16/01/2013 at 3:53 pm Permalink

    Yep. That too.

  26. Jen
    16/01/2013 at 8:21 pm Permalink

    It ain’t the size of the bus that matters. It’s what’s inside. 🙂

  27. Janice
    16/01/2013 at 11:01 pm Permalink

    Indeed.

  28. Larks (@LarksNotesThis)
    17/01/2013 at 1:11 am Permalink

    “My daughter and her peers on the short bus don’t judge people. They don’t make fun of others because they are different, or use them as the butt of a joke. They aren’t racists, bigots, or just general assholes. They aren’t bullies. In short (get it?), they aren’t jerks.” Yes, yes, yes! You hit the nail on the head! All the nastiness is not okay.

  29. Janice
    17/01/2013 at 8:49 am Permalink

    But how can you expect any difference when it comes from the parents? The things I’ve heard over the past few weeks haven’t been from kids.

  30. Kathleen
    17/01/2013 at 10:08 am Permalink

    Right on, mama! The short bus rocks.

  31. Michelle Longo
    17/01/2013 at 4:50 pm Permalink

    I can’t believe people still make short bus comments. Ridiculous.

  32. Janice
    18/01/2013 at 6:37 am Permalink

    I can only agree with you.

Hi Stranger, leave a comment:

ALLOWED XHTML TAGS:

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

Subscribe to Comments