Equal, but Different (Part 1)

I’ve been thinking about sex a lot lately.

Hold on now–don’t go all million moms on me or anything.

I meant I’ve been thinking about gender.  Mostly, the differences between men and women (besides the obvious.)

So I’ve been reading and thinking–a dangerous combination for me–and to be honest, I’m not sure how I feel about the things I’ve read.

Basically, I’ve been presented with the idea that feminism is a big contributor to the somewhat depressing state of our society today.  Now, that statement needs some clarification and some qualification.  I shouldn’t have written “feminism.”  I should have written, “Feminism.”  Like, Gloria Steinem Feminism.

The aforementioned state of our society is that kids are raised by grandparents, aunts, uncles, whoever, because mom got pregnant when she was fifteen. Teen Dad has no responsibility at all.  Everyone gets divorced, more than once sometimes.  In short, “the family” is in shambles.  Lots of kids are so ill-behaved, you’d like to just pinch their little heads right off.

Before anyone asks me who peed in my Cheerios this morning, let me say I don’t even like Cheerios.

Let’s be honest.  Good, old-fashioned morals like respect (including for oneself) are somewhat decreased.  I’m sure that every generation has said that about the one after them, but maybe that’s because it’s the truth.

I digress.

My point was about feminism.

As a young person who knew absolutely everything about everything, I can assure you marriage and children weren’t top on my list.  I could have a career just like a man.  I didn’t need a man to complete me.  My own grandmother asked me why I wanted to get married–she said it just meant I’d have someone telling me what to do for the next fifty years.  Point taken, Grandmother.

But as time passed and things changed, I began to wonder about my highbrow ideals.  I got married, and a few years later my son was born.  That was the turning point.

I had a job when I got pregnant, but the thought occurred to me that someone would have to take care of my baby.  We talked it over, and I could not tolerate the thought of someone else raising him.  We traded our car for a cheaper one, and became a one-income family.  It was tight.  It was hard.

But it was worth it.

Now, many years later, I’m finally reflecting on my roles as both a mother and a wife.

I’m going to give you a very general summation of the point of my current readings.  Because of the feminist movement, gender roles have become blurred.  Each gender has double the responsibility and can therefore only do half as well.

Another interesting point is that although feminism was meant to “free” women, it has, in fact, only hurt them.  Women have become sexually objectified to the point of complete detachment, and the pressure to look a certain way, do it all and be everything is taking its toll.  Although we women are supposedly “free” and “equal,” we are in fact more unhappy than at any time in history.

Men have also supposedly been hurt.  Because they can sleep with whoever with no emotional attachment, they have no respect for women.  Because the woman works and calls the shots, they have no responsibilities.  They have become apathetic and uninvolved. No one is depending on them for anything.

The things I have read (which I am leaving anonymous for now) cite the sky-rocketing divorce rate, more troubled kids and kids diagnosed with ADHD and similar disorders, and more rampant use of antidepressants.  All of these things can be attributed, at least in part, to the dissolution of gender roles and family values.

I have found all of these topics extremely interesting, and more than that, I am extremely interested to hear some opinions from my beloved readers.  Right now, I’m not going to state my own opinions.  I’m saving that for a follow-up post.  I just wanted to share these things I’ve read and get some feedback.  I have an interesting perspective.  I am a child of divorce, I was raised by someone other than my parents, and my mother was a teen mom.  Now I’m a stay at home mother and have been in my first and only marriage for fifteen years now.  By some standards that may not make our marriage a success yet, but I think we’re on the right road.  So I have lots of thoughts about feminism and gender roles.

I can’t wait to hear yours, too.  What do you think about our current culture? Gender roles?  Feminism? Let it rip!

read to be read at yeahwrite.me


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