Dancing with the Devil

The fabric of our very society is in danger of being damaged beyond repair.  Our way of life is being threatened!  We must unite to prevent our innocent children from being exposed to harmful influences that may scar them for life. 

Yes, that’s right, citizens–Nancy Grace is going to be on Dancing With The Stars.

What can we do?  I personally doubt if boycotting the program is a strong enough message.  I think a march on Washington may be necessary to let our government officials know that we are not going to stand for this kind of blatant disregard for our family values.

Am I being a smartass?  You bet.  Still, I can’t deny that I have VERY strong negative feelings about Nancy Grace.  They had the DWTS cast all together answering questions, and there she sat, she with her poppy eyes and her flaring nostrils and her hokey, Designing Women-esque accent.  She said, “They didn’t teach dancing in law school, honey.” Oh PLEASE! We all know you went to law school, Nance! Shut it, already!

I don’t know where these feelings come from.  I’ve considered the possibility of reincarnation–maybe she wronged me in a past life or something.  Maybe it’s just the fact that she’s a pushy, snotty, arrogant know-it-all with bottle-blonde hair and a holier-than-thou attitude.  She’s the embodiment of everything I don’t like about our society. 

Personally, I don’t faithfully watch DWTS.  The Grandmother does, so I usually have a pretty good working knowledge about what’s going on.  Also, I always like to see who the cast is going to be in case it’s someone I like.  It’s basically a frivolous, pointless show that is purely for entertainment, but then again that just about describes everything on network television.  Some like it, some hate it, and some are indifferent.

And apparently some take it WAY too seriously.

I think I’ve commented before (probably more than once) that I’m always fascinated by what people will go out of their way to protest.  Now it seems like Chaz Bono is the hot topic of the day.  He is also a contestant on DWTS this time, and in case you’ve been living under a rock for the last few days, Chaz was formerly known as Chastity, the daughter of Cher and Sonny Bono.  Chaz is transgender, and is the first transgender contestant on DWTS. 

I guess some people are worried that this will expose their children to a lifestyle that they consider immoral.  Whatever.  Here’s a news flash for all of you folks that are worrying that your children will be negatively influenced by Chaz’s presence on the show—don’t watch the frickin’ show!  I don’t watch Nancy Grace, but it’s her right to be on television, to say what she wants, and it’s the network’s right to put her on there if they so choose (though I can’t imagine why!)  I’m actually rooting for Chaz to win, not because I really care about who wins, but mostly as a slap in the face of that snitty little bitch from onemillionmoms.com that was on Good Morning America this morning.  Just looking at her irritated me, and her voice made it worse.  She said her family “just wouldn’t be able to watch the show.”  Now, I don’t know about you, but I wonder if DWTS is considered family programming?  I mean, if we’re going to split hairs, some of the dances and most of the outfits are pretty risqué at times. 

Digression: This country is so obsessed with what goes on behind people’s closed doors.  Don’t believe me? Does the name Monica Lewinski ring any bells?  Bill Clinton was (to me, at least) a pretty good president, but his whole presidency has effectively been reduced to some fling he had with an airhead in the Oval Office.  They said he was an immoral president, (cue heavy sarcasm) and you know how we won’t tolerate any immorality in Washington, D.C. Ultimately he got off (rim shot!), but still, the whole damn country sort of lost their minds or something.  The thing that got me was that all of those investigators and Republican representatives who were calling for Clinton’s impeachment were probably getting blow jobs from their secretaries after each hearing.  Can you say “hypocrisy?” 

Okay, back to my original point–who really cares if Chaz Bono is transgender?  My goal is to raise a child who not a bigot, and forms his opinion of people based on their actions towards others, not their identities.  However, those ninnies…er…women over at onemillionmoms.com have a right to believe whatever they want, just as I do.  So, again, don’t watch the show.  Who cares?  I looked through their website, and I’m fascinated by the things they protest.  I mean, really? I wish Bert and Ernie were the only things in my life I had to worry about.  I wonder how many of those little gals who boycott “Desperate Housewives” are having affairs with the gardener, or maybe even the preacher? They are so sanctimonious, I wonder if they have ever actually read the whole Bible, and not just the verses they can apply to whatever it is they are protesting at that moment.  Maybe they’ve heard of a little verse that says something along the lines of “before you attend to the mote in your neighbor’s eye, attend to the beam in thine own.”  If you think being homosexual or transgender is wrong, fine.  Pray for those people and teach your kids the same.  I always thought Jesus taught compassion and acceptance, and even offered a little tidbit about how judging others was God’s job, not ours.  I don’t know, maybe my Bible has a misprint. 

There’s a valuable lesson to be learned here for all of us.  If a television or radio program offends you, turn it off.  Freedom of speech goes both ways.  Also, don’t watch Good Morning America before you’ve had your coffee, because it can really piss you off.  Oh, and if anyone is interested in that march on Washington I mentioned, let me know. 

 

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